Things I learned this week.

One of my projects this week included reaching out to about 100 potential new customers of ours to get a little bit more information about the facilities they manage. I'm still not quite sure how this fell on my plate - but that's a discussion for another time.

Over the span of the last three days I have made over 100 phone calls. Asking the same 10 questions over and over and over. I've learned a few lessons from this that I feel are worth sharing (also known as "ranting about").

1. Cube farms are NOT the most conducive place for a high volume of phone conversations. I hate making phone calls from my desk. I can hear the conversation the guy 5 cubes over from me is having and I *know* everyone can hear me. I know this may come as a surprise, but I have one of those "voices that carries"...which is really just a nice way of saying I'm loud. (Seriously, ask my dad, if he had a dollar for every time he has told me I'm talking at an inappropriate volume for the indoors, he'd be a rich man. And my brother would be half as rich if he was participating in the same deal. Sidebar: I blame this on living in a house with 44 women for a few years. If you're not loud? You're not heard.) It's not like I'm having inappropriate conversations, I just don't like everyone being able to hear me. Especially when I'm repeating the same "script" over and over and over. They've got to be beyond annoyed with me.

2. Receptionists / Secretaries / Admin Asst. are *very* important. I didn't really learn this lesson today, as I spent the better part of a decade in this role, but learned more from the other side in this project. Listen very carefully if you EVER have someone else answer your phone for you...are you ready? Make sure they are pleasant! I know everyone has a bad day from time to time and sometimes you're just not in a perky mood. But when it is your JOB to be polite and friendly - suck it up. I am amazed at how many rude, cranky, completely beyond the point of being able to be understood by a caller some receptionists are. This is the FIRST IMPRESSION of your company if someone is calling or stopping by your place of business. Hire a schmoozer, it'll go along way. (I was an A+ schmoozer when I was in that role...I learned it from my mom. She schmoozes with the best of them still!)

3. 99% of high school girls do NOT fit the previously mentioned bill. I hesitated sharing this point, as most of the above mentioned decade I was a high school(ish) aged girl. Laughing when you pick up the phone? Not knowing basic information? Being flat out rude with a side of attitude? TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE. That's great that you decided to hire Bob's daughter while she's got the summer off. And I'm sure she's just a sweetheart. But on the phone? She's sounding like a moron. And I am, in turn, judging you for the idiot you have answering your phones. Got it? Good. If you do hire Bob's daughter, make sure she has manners and phone etiquette. And if she doesn't? Teach her. She'll appreciate it later, when she's a grown up and has to use them on a daily basis.

4. If you haven't been getting any voicemails, it's probably not because you're so efficient at your job. Your messaging system is broken. I have been cut off by more messaging systems than I possibly could have imagined when embarking on the 100 phone call project. Oh, I see you've chosen to completely eliminate problems 2 and 3 and use a totally automated messaging system. What a splendid idea! Except for when people who's names I have on my list don't exist in your automated directory. Not by first name, or last name, or part of both. Also? If your voice mail cuts me off after 3 seconds, no matter *how* fast I talk (and I can talk fast! Loud, but also FAST!) I cannot leave a message. And I have also learned my limit for number of tries is 2. If I get cut off twice, I no longer care to leave you a message. And really, my call isn't all that fun, so maybe you don't care. But boy are you going to be pissed when you miss that call about winning the lottery.

I'm sure I'll have many more lessons after this project...but I'll leave you with these for now.

Progression and Digression.

Some days are like roller coasters. I believe this is anticipated with any major change to your life / routine. Especially when said change happens to someone who greatly enjoys consistency and routine and isn't a *huge* fan of change when it's actually taking place. That said, I do think I've adjusted quite well and am making some great progress in these adjustments to what my life is right now. I'm acting like an adult in a lot of ways and being a grown up about decisions and actions.

I'm working out more in the last few months than I probably ever have...ever. It's good, for the most part I am excited about it and I find it a positive way to blow off steam I've gathered throughout the day. This makes me an adult and represents progression because there have been a good handful of times where what I really want to do is punch someone...hard. So, you see, I'm making a big girl decision and redirecting that hostility towards a spin bike. +1 point in the progression column.

Sometimes I want to act like a child. While at my parents house this weekend, I realized my 2 1/2 year old nephew and I have quite a bit in common. No one enjoyed the Easter egg hunt quite as much as the two of us...nor was anyone else still playing with the toys three hours later. After a few hours of playing, both the nephew and I went upstairs for a nap. Mom put out cheese & sausage for the adults and goldfish for Joey. I ate the goldfish crackers. I may have even been a twinge jealous at his juice box. Sometimes I just want to be a kid. -1 in progression, put that +1 in the digression column.

I'm making smarter financial decisions for myself. +1. Until this weekend it had been far too long since I cleaned my house. -1. I'm cooking for myself instead of living on take out. +1. Sometimes "cooking" is a term used loosely. Last night's dinner was egg salad on Triscuits. -1.

So, all in all, I'm pretty much leveling out in a good balance of making forward motion and allowing myself to not give a damn when necessary. Plus at the end of the day, the fact that I have caused ZERO harm to neither physical property nor certain people earns me about +500 points in the progression column. Because some people? Some people deserve some damage. So there's that.

Power of control.

This morning I was in a not so great mood. I was cranky, things weren't going my way and it made me mad. For as much as I proclaim to be a control freak, when my day isn't going the way I wanted it to or planed for it to, I immediately throw my hands up in the air and write the day off as sucky. Very anti-in control. The thing is, today? Nothing TERRIBLE happened. A few unfortunate events took place within a small window of time. Yes it was all before 9:00 a.m. Yes it was NOT the way I wanted my pre-9:00 a.m. day to go. Yes by 9:01 I was thinking about the bottles of wine in my fridge. But was I really willing to let the remaining 12+ hours I'd spend awake be wasted?

There's a guy on Twitter who almost always starts the day with a tweet along the lines of "Have a great day!" Every morning when I read his positive tweets I get a little reminder that the day can be wonderful. Today his tweet was, "Thursday! Make it great!"For some reason it totally resonated with me, more than they usually do. It was my gentle little reminder that I could CHOOSE to make it great. Some less than ideal things will happen, but you can choose to change the direction of your day.

I immediately gathered my co-worker and took 10 minutes to vent, get it out of my system and then laugh. In a quick minute the day felt better. I continued to build on this foundation of a great day. Decided to right what "wrongs" I could that happened earlier and plan for it to be a better day. I focused on the positive things that were happening - no matter how small. And you know what? It worked.

I know it won't always work. And some days are just bad days. But if you try hard enough, you just might be able to find good even on the semi-shitty ones. And the best part is? It's just another thing I'm in control over!

Random thoughts

The last few days I've been trying to think of a post...a thought I can expand on. Something worth dedicating an entire post to. I haven't been able to have any thoughts that came out to a post. So instead, you're getting a post full of the short & quick thoughts that have been flying around in my brain.

• I bought a book that promises to make me more of a bitch and surprisingly the people in my life are quite supportive of this.
  
• I thought Bella had a tick this morning and FREAKED. Thankfully my mom, who has coined herself the tickmeister, came to the rescue. It wasn't a tick, but there was blood. I'm still glad she came to help. I don't do blood. Related: Even though it wasn't a tick, I still feel extra itchy today. Gross.
  
• I felt pressure to make this third bullet rhyme with the first two. "I bought," "I thought." Turns out, it doesn't. That's okay.
  
• I have been talking to an ex from way back in the day who is also going through an unfortunate breakup. It's odd, but totally working for the two of us. We agreed this morning neither of us will ever be offended if plans are broken for a potential date. This is an agreement I can totally get on board with. We've also had a number of exchanges that start or end with "seriously, WTF?"
  
• I'm getting VERY excited about my upcoming trip to Minneapolis. It's been a LONG time since I've been up there.
  
• Following that weekend, I'm going on a mini-getaway with mom to Chicago. Also very excited about that.
  
• Wedding season has officially begun. I have a shower this weekend and got another invite in the mail last night. Single, taken or married, I will ALWAYS love being invited to weddings. I am a total romantic and love a good day full of love and promises!
• This past weekend I found a new favorite sushi place in Milwaukee. It was delicious and adorable. And even better, I had never been before so it fits the whole "clean slate" phase I'm in. And even better than that, I went with one of my BFF's who I know won't ever break up with me, so far so good, no bad memories at Thai-namite!
• My weeks have slowed down a little bit in terms of activity. I was going strong at 6 days a week at the gym, the last two have been 3 and 4 consecutively. I know part of it was spending 10 hours a weekend at the volunteer training - which covered two of my normal times to go to the gym. I'm planning on picking it back up this week.

So that's about it for now. Someday soon I promise to have a cohesive thought that is lengthy enough to warrant it's own post.

What the commercials don't tell you.

Aren't those commercials about online dating cute? Don't you just kind of scrunch up your nose and think, "Aww, look at those two love birds using technology in their favor!" Okay, it's possible you don't say those exact words, but I always got this warm fuzzy when I saw the commercials. Mostly because for 2 1/2 years I could have been that commercial. Felt connected right away? Yes. Different beginning than any other relationship? Hell yes. Can't believe I found Mr. Right on the computer? Yup, yup and yup. And the stats don't lie, 1 in 5 relationships start on match.com. Wow, that's pretty impressive. Must be pretty easy then.

I'm here to give you the my "truths" about it all. Consider me the Charlie Sheen of online dating and here come some truth torpedoes.

**Disclaimer: given that I have only ever been a "woman seeking men" I can only speak to the male population on the site...I have no idea about the women, though I've heard stories.

Myth #1:
Online dating must be where all the attractive, normal, non-skeezy guys are! (Because the douche at the bar last night represented the general population there).

Fact:
Online dating is just like going to the bar. There are creepers, guys who live in their mom's basement (and will until their 40), and men who are SO far past your maximum "interested in" age that will STILL try to hit on you (and probably in the most immature way you'll see while you're on there).

But wait, there is good news. The good news is that you can weed through the people SO much faster through an online site. Instead of spending time with every potential date (moving forward referred to as PD) in the bar, you can clearly scope out only what you're looking for. You could essentially try to create your perfect date and see what kind of results that yields. (I'm not saying it will be plentiful, I'm just sayin', you can be very specific with your search.)

Myth #2:
You can casually search around.

Fact:
It's probably going to be a time suck. And you WILL become a bit of a stalker. (sort of.) The truth is, you do have to commit some time to it. Seeking out PD's, contacting them, weeding through the ridiculous e-mails you get, sending those ridiculous e-mails to other friends who are dating online to start a collection, and so on and so forth.

Also - online dating sites (at least the one I am familiar with) encourage, nay, enable straight up stalking. Now I've admitted a few times around these parts I'm pretty good with what I like to call "internet research" (Though I'm fairly certain in a court of law, they like to call it stalking.) These sites make it impossible not to. You can see when every single PD was last online, how many times and when they've viewed your profile and whether or not they've read the e-mail you've sent them. How do you not become just a wee bit obsessed with checking? No? Just me? Well, I'm just sayin' they make it so damn easy.

The good news about this myth is that it only lasts for a while and then you're all, "ugh, whatever. Contact me when you're good and ready." And then it's less of a time suck and you're less of a stalker. Win, win. Or, given that I've coined myself the Charlie Sheen of online dating, perhaps this is where I say, duh, winning!

Myth #3
(1 in 5) Boy(s) meet girl(s) online. Boy and girl date. Boy and girl get married and / or date long enough to star in a commercial about said dating. Boy and girl live happily ever after.

Fact:
Again, just like real life relationships here people. This might be the one I'm just now realizing myself. I figured, I'm paying for a site where other people PAY to meet people who want to date. How could this go wrong. And well, at first it showed me how wrong it could go. (someday I'll share the story of my first date from match.com - NOT with XBF.) But then I figured, once I found *that* guy it would obviously last forever and eventually we'd star in a commercial and proceed with our happily ever after and thank computers at our wedding. Wrong-o bucko! Turns out, just because you were introduced via the interwebs, there is no magic that makes it a sure fire thing. They end. And there can be just as much, "wait, who are you?!" as there is in real life dating.

My point of this is not to turn people off of online dating. I am actually a HUGE proponent for it. I believe that it does allow for you to get some of that basic awkward conversation out of the way before you meet in person. You can think about your responses and get a good rapport going before you're under the pressure of face-to-face time. On the flip side, it is MUCH easier to reject and be rejected when it's not face to face, again, allowing for minimal time wasted. I just know that from my experience, the first time I went into it with REALLY high hopes. Unrealistic expectations. And it would have been nice to be brought back to reality before I dove head first into the pool that is online dating.

P.S. All you taken people? You wives, husbands, boyfriends and girlfriends? Now would be a fabulous time to find your significant other and give them a BIG OL' KISS and thank them from snagging you off the market. This could be one situation where the grass on the other side, isn't quite as green!

Resolutions, my left foot.

I have to start with a very random story that came into my head from the title of this post. I used to say "My left foot" instead of saying, "my ass." I have no idea why I chose the least offensive swear of all time to cut out of my vocabulary. I will gladly blow out a "Shut the fuck up" but for some reason, I needed to replace, "my ass" when showing I didn't approve of something. Hey, I never claimed logic. Anyway, in high school we had to read this book called, "My Left Foot" and it was about a guy who lost his arms maybe? Anyway, he painted these gorgeous works of art with his left foot. Any time I would say, "my left foot" to project me NOT approving of something, my friend Emily would always bring up the author of the book. And generally (if barefoot) demonstrate her inability to do anything artistic with her left foot. Seriously, I can hardly type it without giggling. (I've actually laughed out loud a few times already thinking of her with a pencil between her toes). Ah, good times.

ANYWAY. That was not the point of this. The point is I am disapproving of resolutions at this point. I read Amy's recap of where she's at with the goals she set for herself back in January (and honestly, felt a little better about resolutions in general. I like company in failing, sue me!) Then, after feeling better, I thought to myself, "hey, did you set goals this year?" Which is generally a great sign when you're thinking about checking in with said goals. Not remembering is a good indicator of where I am at with them. Turns out I did not set goals. So, look at me! I'm right on par with my resolutions for this year! Go me.

Actually, what more realistically happened is that before I actually had my life turned upside down, I anticipated it coming. Then my reality hit. And then, if we're being completely honest (which I do pride myself on being with y'all...my readers), the progression probably went something like this:

1. Goals? Fuck goals.
2. My goal is to NOT drink every night this week and incorporate food other than mac & cheese.
3. Get your ass back in the gym before it turns into the consistency of mac & cheese (that is SICK to think about...)
4. Hey, the gym feels nice, keep that up.
5. Quit pouting.
6. SERIOUSLY STOP POUTING AND GET OVER IT.
7. Fine, pout a little, but then it's time to put the big girl pants on.
8. Put on your big girl pants.
9. Keep ass in gym to keep metaphorical "big girl pants" from turning into literal BIG girl pants.
10. Find something else to do with your time.

Those are a good wrap up of the 10 goals I may have set for myself in the last couple months. I set very short term goals. I don't call them goals, they're more or less my weekly themes. But, the good news? I have completed my goals to this point. And now, with my (shrinking) big girl pants, I look forward to setting some more "normal" goals. And maybe keeping a few of the old ones just for good measure.